Up Close and Personal with Toby Kamp
Some folks enjoy meeting the people behind the scenes of Ambrosia, some are curious about what goes into a new program, and some are just plain nosy. So each issue of The Ambrosia Times we will interview a member of the Ambrosia family.
Ambrosia Times: Who are you? What do you want?
My name is Toby and I don't really know what I want. I know "...I
don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything
sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed,
or repair anything sold, bought, or processed...I don't want to do
that. All I want to do is date your daughter", and yes, I watch way
too many movies.
AT - Tell us a little more about yourself.
TK- MWPM, DINK, S(soon to be x), 29, 6ft, 200lbs, great sense of
humor but serious sense of purpose, inquisitive, passionate,
original, extreme, meticulous, well traveled, collegiate intelligence,
commitment- minded gentleman. Likes...
AT - Your specialties lie in business and marketing?
TK - Oh, is that what I put on my resume?
AT - What attracted you to Ambrosia (remember the review coming up;)?
TK - It was the entire package that really attracted me to Ambrosia. The nice corner office overlooking downtown, company car, personal secretary, six figure salary with impressive stock
options, 401K, medical and dental plan, full membership to Oak Hill Country Club. At least that's what was promised. Who wouldn't be attracted? Actually, I reached that point in my life where I finally knew what I wanted to do, where I wanted to be, and had a rough plan on how to get there. Ambrosia was a perfect opportunity, so here I am.
AT - So, how do you like it so far? Give us the "fresh" point of view.
TK - "I know we've only known each other 4 weeks and 3 days, but to me it seems like 9 weeks
and 5 days. The first day was like half a day. The second day felt like 3 days. The third day was a
regular whole day..." Just keeping with the theme. Actually everyone here at Ambrosia has gone out of their way to make me feel welcome and a part of the team. It's a great place to work. The crew are quite the characters. The job, or any job for that matter, is really enjoyable when you work with great people and you are doing something you like and are interested in.
AT - You have some experience in corporate America. Was it hard adjusting to the toga and olive leaves you are now allowed to wear to work?
TK - I never realized what a great perk casual dress actually was. It had been white shirts and ties
for so long that I had to go out and buy more casual clothes to get me through the first week. The olive leaves sure aren't as itchy as all those ties and wool pants.
AT - What do you think about Hector? Has he been treating you well?
TK - Hector might just be my favorite. He is the first to say hello in the morning as I walk in the
door. He plays practical jokes on me all the time. He gets me out of my chair to answer knocks at the door, which he has perfected very well and then laughs at me. He makes me laugh when he meows like a cat and calls Gayle "bimbo". He is quite a bird.
AT - Can you explain why you have the only two wheel drive sport utility vehicle in Rochester? How's it handle in the winter?
TK - I bought my Jimmy in Los Angeles, where the only thing a 4X4 does is increase your
insurance, gas expense, and vehicle cost. I didn't need it moving along at 5mph on the 405. That's why the company car sold me on Ambrosia. I just hope I get it before winter. I heard we are getting Hummers. I have been in Rochester now for 3 years. Every winter I have to weigh down the back of the truck with sand bags. Where LA taught me how to drive in aggressive, heavy traffic, Rochester has taught me how to drive in the median of the expressway, through neighbors front yards, etc. I haven't hit a pink yard flamingo yet. Actually, my senses have been sharpened. Having to react to the subtle differences that occur while driving on winterized surfaces, I believe, has made me a better lover.
AT - I understand that the shareware concept was a little difficult to get used to when you started. What is your take on the concept now that you have been properly brainwashed?
TK - Everyone I talked to had a problem with the concept as well. I guess that says a little about
how people view honesty in general. I am the most honest person I know and I believe there are a lot of honest people in the world, but I am also not naive. I have read that no one has been able to keep accurate records of the losses and that estimates range close to only a 1% registration rate. I don't know how he or she came up with 1%, but I believe it to be higher with regards to
Ambrosia's products. My optimism also believes that there are a lot of fairly intelligent people out there and the more they realize that they can get top quality products easier, for less money, and can try the product out for free, the more support shareware should receive. The short answer -- yes, I have been properly brainwashed.
AT - Do you have any plans or future marketing strategies for Ambrosia? (don't forget that
TK - All of you Mac enthusiasts can expect some of the "coolest" new software titles to be rolling
out in the near future. I believe I will be quite busy trying to get the word out initially but the
excitement these release will generate make my job fairly easy. Most of my work will be done for me. I know Ambrosia is already on the map with their current software titles, but these new releases will make that spot on the map a lot larger. Prepare yourselves for Avara, a fast and furious 3-D action network game due out the end of summer, followed by Bubble Trouble, Manse, and more!
AT - I hear you have one of those icky Intel machines at home. How do you like working on the Macintosh?
TK - "If I only knew then what I know now" are the famous last words that would apply to my
AT - When not slaving away at the byte mines, what do you like to do in your spare time?
TK - Home owner = very little spare time. I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids as
well. Hats off to you if you do and still manage to have a life. In what spare time I do have, I enjoy golf, going to a play or movie, dinner with the wife, traveling, and am trying to learn a lot of the graphic software as a creative release. I also plan to produce a short for a local film festival. I know kids are great, but I don't see how I could do these and many other things once the kids show up. Am I selfish?
AT - Did you know that your mustache makes you look like one of those Chippendale guys? Do
you do male modeling in your spare time?
TK - First let me say that my wife said she would leave me if I shaved it off. I was actually going
for the Tom Selleck look in hopes that it might get me my own Courtney Cox. All it really does is keep me from being carded all the time. I tried male modeling but, my bow legs kept me off the catwalk where the real money was. I am glad I listened to my father and went to college and had something to fall back on, especially because I don't think my physique is fantasy material
AT - Did you know that Andrew is really a highly complex robot, and that the office is really run by Hector?
TK - Do you think we could somehow reprogram him? Maybe we could get him to give us all big raises!
AT - Do you have anything you would like to say to our readers?
TK - Hey everybody! My page is here! My web page is here! My own web page! "This is the kind
of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes me somebody! I'm somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now. I'm Somebody!"